Taking a Piss
OK, I am not saying this is a city thing, there are a lot of guys where I come from that do the same thing. It’s just something I notice more here because there are more people.
Before I start, this logic, if you want to call a rant logic, cannot be used on nights out with drunk people. Disclaimer out of the way, here you go.
1. If you are taking a piss beside someone, give them a little space. Don’t be the dick ( Pun intended) that stands right beside another man when there are 3 or 4 spaces away for that a perfectly empty.
2. Don’t be the guy that takes the center urinal in a 3 pack if the others are empty. Come on to hell people, it’s like a fancy dinner, start at the outside and work your way in (I knew Pretty Woman had a hidden message)
3. I have no idea why people do this one. To the guy that is standing taking a piss while texting on the phone. I mean come on, how fecking self-important are you that you need to text while holding the cobra. I actually saw a guy playing a game on his phone while he was pissing. How fecking long are you expecting to be there man? Don’t be a dick and put the phone away.
4. Don’t be the guy that strikes up a conversation with a guy you don’t know. A simple “Hows it going”, is more than sufficient, then pick a spot on the wall and get on with it. Feel free to talk after the deed is done while washing your hands but while you’re holding the python, keep it short. This brings me to my next point
5. Wash your god damn hands, it takes less a minute. I don’t know about you but it’s something I remember about someone. Awhhhhh that’s the guy that doesn’t wash his hands after a piss, he just snagged a mini tomato from the salad bar awhhhhh. Because of that, you will never have salad again and you queue up to buy chips instead. This fecker just ruined the 20-minute run you did this morning and now you want to push him in front of a bus.
In conclusion, give people some space, keep talking to a minimum and wash your hands. Come on people it not rocket science.
Don’t be the guy someone wants to push in front of a bus.